The best way to cope with losing a pet is to let yourself grieve it as the real loss it is. That means naming the pain out loud, keeping some of your daily routine while letting the empty spots hurt, finding people who understand, honoring your pet in a way that feels meaningful to you, and being gentle with the guilt that almost always shows up. If the grief is still swallowing your days months later, talking to a therapist can help you carry it differently. Your pet wasn't "just a dog" or "just a cat." They were family, and grief is what love looks like when it has nowhere to go.
Why Losing a Pet Hurts So Much
Pets are woven into the smallest parts of our day. They're the first face you see in the morning, the reason you get outside, the warm weight on the couch after a hard day. When they're gone, the loss shows up everywhere at once. You're not alone in this, either. According to the American Pet Products Association, about 94 million U.S. households own at least one pet, which means millions of people will face this kind of goodbye.
The research is finally catching up to what pet lovers already know. A 2026 study published in PLOS One surveyed 975 adults and found that 7.5% of people who lost a pet met the criteria for prolonged grief disorder. That's close to the rates seen after losing a grandparent, sibling, or partner. Even more striking, about 1 in 5 people who had lost both a pet and a person said the pet's death was the hardest. The symptoms looked the same either way. Grief is grief.
When People Don't Get It
One of the hardest parts of pet loss is how often it gets brushed aside. "At least it was just a dog." "You can always get another one." People usually mean well, but comments like these can leave you feeling like your grief is too much or doesn't count. Therapists call this disenfranchised grief, which is grief that isn't fully recognized by the people around you.
When grief doesn't feel welcome, it tends to go underground. In a study of older adults who lost a pet, 47% said their emotional health declined afterward, and about a third said they had to be careful about who they shared their grief with. If you've found yourself crying in the car so nobody sees, I want you to know your sadness makes complete sense. You loved them. Of course it hurts.
The Guilt That Comes with Goodbye
If your pet was euthanized, you may be replaying that day over and over. Did I wait too long? Did I give up too soon? Should I have caught it earlier? Pet loss is one of the few times we're asked to make an end of life decision for someone we love, and guilt is an incredibly common part of that.
Here's something I often share with clients. Guilt usually shows up because you cared so much. It's a part of you trying to protect your pet, even now, even when there's nothing left to protect them from. Instead of arguing with that guilty part, try getting curious about it and offering it some compassion. You made the best decision you could with the love and information you had in that moment.
Gentle Ways to Cope With Losing a Pet
Start by letting it hurt. You don't have to be okay in a week, or a month. Grief doesn't follow a timeline, and pushing it down usually makes it louder later. Let yourself cry, talk about them, and say their name.
Pay attention to your routines, too. The empty food bowl, the leash by the door, the time of day you used to go for a walk. These moments can knock the wind out of you (if this sounds familiar, my post on [emotional triggers](INTERNAL LINK: emotional triggers post) explains why). You don't have to change everything right away. Some people find comfort in keeping a walk at the same time, just to have something steady.
Find a way to honor them. A photo book, a paw print, planting something in the yard, or writing your pet a letter can all help. Telling the story of your life together, the funny parts and the hard parts, is a powerful way to hold onto the bond while you adjust to the loss.
Look for people who get it. If the people around you don't understand, a pet loss support line or group can be a lifeline. The Cornell Pet Loss Support Hotline (607-218-7457) is staffed by trained veterinary students, and the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement offers online chat rooms and support groups.
And take care of your body. Grief is exhausting. Eat something, get some sleep when you can, and step outside. Small things count right now.
Helping Kids Through Pet Loss
For many kids, losing a pet is their first experience with death. Use simple, honest words like "died" instead of "went to sleep," which can be confusing or even scary. Let them ask questions, let them see you sad, and invite them into the goodbye by drawing a picture or sharing a favorite memory. Kids grieve in bursts, so don't be surprised if they're crying one minute and playing the next. That's normal.
When Grief Starts to Feel Heavier
Most grief softens with time, even if it never fully goes away. But sometimes it gets stuck. If months have passed and you're still having trouble sleeping, eating, working, or getting out of bed, it might be time to reach out for support. The same goes for guilt that won't let up, pulling away from people you love, or feeling like life has lost its meaning. Sometimes grief can slide into depression, and my post on the signs of depression that aren't just sadness can help you sort out the difference. You can also read more about how grief works and why it shows up the way it does.
If you're having thoughts of not wanting to be here, please call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline right away. You deserve support today.
You Don't Have to Grieve Alone
If you're carrying the loss of a pet and it feels like no one around you understands, I'd be honored to help. At Stillbrook Counseling, I work with people moving through grief, guilt, and the quiet ache of an empty house. Together we can make room for your sadness, gently work with the parts of you that feel guilty, and find ways to keep your pet's story close as you heal. I use approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Narrative Therapy.
I see clients in person in Morgan, Mountain Green, and throughout Weber, Davis, and Salt Lake County, and I offer telehealth anywhere in Utah. I'm in-network with insurances including SelectHealth, Regence BlueCross BlueShield, PEHP, Optum/UHC, Aetna, Medicare, and Medicaid. If grief is affecting your sleep, your work, or your daily life, therapy may be covered by your plan.